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Wednesday, July 30, 2008
today started FG4 and my skin outbreak start to dry and peels..Ouch!! I felt so emotional and sad the whole freak day! What did I do wrong to get all these trash sufferings? But I know my skin condition cannot compare to those who have operation, handicap, etc. Sometimes how I wish can just die straight away without anymore suffering. I met a friendly girl who try to help me, introduce me to buy supplements. She don't look like she have skin problem to me, like no scars at all. My sadness seems to be a barrier a thick huge walls that let my friends feel I am cold to them. I have no strength to explain or wanted to say out or share my sadness to them, didn't want people around me to be sad. I am not strong, don't no when i just give up my life. Yesterday is the second time a stranger approach me and wanted to introduce doctor or medicine or supplement to me. Yesterday forgot my cell phone just left it at home, ah boy's mum contacted me sms. Why ah boy stuffs seems to be unfinished, keep pulling me back. Just so damn tired about the past, trying hard to live on and move on my life. The feeling is a person who has cancer, keep occurring pains, sufferings everyday, want to escape from the world reality, people, etc. It is definitely hard to just forget my skin problem, when I want to be normal and just walk outside, people will like wanna to help me, reminding me that, "Yah, your skin seems dry need a doctor or something?". I was like stone for awhile and I 've doctor seeing a specialist now spending hundreds of dollars for my poor skins. Out of breath in office facing all those batch steps and scenarios, all the JCLs are stranger to me. Not going to touch IT again, scary codings and stressful workloads. I need a long long break from all the things. How I wish I can stay in Malaysia for one year and back to Singapore again. Do that after getting a degree? Another sad thing is I can't pass the present to ah boy last gift, just sth that not fated for him. All the best to him! Not forgetting to thanks my dear that always accompany me, dono why just feel crazy in the MRT talking craps and imagine rubbish, like will a guy wear their brief the other way backside to frontside. Ermm..that will be weird hahaha. Oops! That's my opinion, just asking my dear only. Today he has a smily face walking outside so cute! He keep complaining that people always bang him, erm not gang bang him, just obstruct his walking way. His face like fierce in another direction, so I laughed. Yeah! my sis bought me a new cartoon notebook. thnks! I love that! I can write important notes inside. Being an adult is not easy at all very hard to me, still learning to be a grow up. 20 years old girl have to face a lot of things and decide her future, feeling scared to walk alone in the path, not easy to handle many things. Thanks god given me everything, even pesdestrian concern about my skin problem. =) And thanks those people who had helped me, concern me, being with me even though my skin is red, my colleagues too supported me and taught me to take care of skin. I have learn from mei zhen that I got to carry an umbrella and a mini fan with me to keep myself from the sun, heat. To those with difficulty, just hang on there hopes will come. Keep trying and live on to see miracles happen on us. Guess it is not easy to reborn and live on earth, fated to meet my another half to share all the things with him. =)  |
Min Ru♥ " She’s a lil girl, living in her perfect world Until the perfect guy come, and bring everything together.." Time for a Msg Sweet ones. Genie Zhou Jeanette Felicia Chen Jing Xuan Ann shu xian Xue Sha Sha shopaholic Naomi Amanda Julia Andrew Yvonne Eileen Jie Min Liyan Amy Paul Karen Eug Florence Joel Jackie Phebe Sze Rong Zhi Xiang XinYi Ariel Gladys January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 November 2010 March 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 March 2013 October 2013 June 2014 imeem . 1 song Playing ♥ I kissed a GIRL Designer : Chili. x o x o |