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Wednesday, July 30, 2008
today started FG4 and my skin outbreak start to dry and peels..Ouch!! I felt so emotional and sad the whole freak day! What did I do wrong to get all these trash sufferings? But I know my skin condition cannot compare to those who have operation, handicap, etc. Sometimes how I wish can just die straight away without anymore suffering. I met a friendly girl who try to help me, introduce me to buy supplements. She don't look like she have skin problem to me, like no scars at all. My sadness seems to be a barrier a thick huge walls that let my friends feel I am cold to them. I have no strength to explain or wanted to say out or share my sadness to them, didn't want people around me to be sad. I am not strong, don't no when i just give up my life. Yesterday is the second time a stranger approach me and wanted to introduce doctor or medicine or supplement to me. Yesterday forgot my cell phone just left it at home, ah boy's mum contacted me sms. Why ah boy stuffs seems to be unfinished, keep pulling me back. Just so damn tired about the past, trying hard to live on and move on my life. The feeling is a person who has cancer, keep occurring pains, sufferings everyday, want to escape from the world reality, people, etc. It is definitely hard to just forget my skin problem, when I want to be normal and just walk outside, people will like wanna to help me, reminding me that, "Yah, your skin seems dry need a doctor or something?". I was like stone for awhile and I 've doctor seeing a specialist now spending hundreds of dollars for my poor skins. Out of breath in office facing all those batch steps and scenarios, all the JCLs are stranger to me. Not going to touch IT again, scary codings and stressful workloads. I need a long long break from all the things. How I wish I can stay in Malaysia for one year and back to Singapore again. Do that after getting a degree? Another sad thing is I can't pass the present to ah boy last gift, just sth that not fated for him. All the best to him! Not forgetting to thanks my dear that always accompany me, dono why just feel crazy in the MRT talking craps and imagine rubbish, like will a guy wear their brief the other way backside to frontside. Ermm..that will be weird hahaha. Oops! That's my opinion, just asking my dear only. Today he has a smily face walking outside so cute! He keep complaining that people always bang him, erm not gang bang him, just obstruct his walking way. His face like fierce in another direction, so I laughed. Yeah! my sis bought me a new cartoon notebook. thnks! I love that! I can write important notes inside. Being an adult is not easy at all very hard to me, still learning to be a grow up. 20 years old girl have to face a lot of things and decide her future, feeling scared to walk alone in the path, not easy to handle many things. Thanks god given me everything, even pesdestrian concern about my skin problem. =) And thanks those people who had helped me, concern me, being with me even though my skin is red, my colleagues too supported me and taught me to take care of skin. I have learn from mei zhen that I got to carry an umbrella and a mini fan with me to keep myself from the sun, heat. To those with difficulty, just hang on there hopes will come. Keep trying and live on to see miracles happen on us. Guess it is not easy to reborn and live on earth, fated to meet my another half to share all the things with him. =)  Monday, July 28, 2008 I fall in love with makings of pictures, hey my copyright wor!! Hhahah!!  Sunday, July 27, 2008  I love this song!!  Saturday, July 26, 2008   Yesterday night I vomitted, my gastric pain not sure what happened. So today stay home rest, pretty tired for working everyday. I make the pictures into a film roll, Hahahaha. This is my cup, cute rite??  A newly bought Hello Kitty watch for myself. Nowadays just love all the cartoons stuffs. Crazy fanss.!  Our dating for the day. Different types of expression in MRT. Hahaa~~  Thursday, July 24, 2008 Finally have spare time to blog online now. After doing the scenarios 11 of them, my eyes blur blur stars are flying around. "R" boy got mad at us and scolded us for making noise. -_-~ We are shocked and continue our work in silent. OMG!! Whatever it is, guess is the upper level scolded him so he could be bad mood for today,ate the wrong medicine or get off at the wrong side of the bed. One word to describe my day is TIRED, two word is SUPER TIRED. Hate it when I got tested for my patience as I don't posses any patience in my genes, HAHA~. It hurts last two days, my skin peels red and swollen. Now it is fine as I bath bravely, apply cream yesterday before I sleep. Kinda of troublesome but that is my life. Previously watched Behind Close Door on Channel 5, abortion. It is common these days as more youngster commit a serious crime, abortion, end a life. Yah people have the right to chose to keep or delete it which means abort it. ABORT is to bring it to a stop to a thing. Anything but to some religion is often bad for abortion. These bought back my memories of chinese vcd documentary about "baby soul" unrest still exist with their mum, you could not imagine that a soul is preparing to reborn, however abortion will not let the soul to reborn. End up the cycle of reborn is in a mess. Coming to human thought is that abortion is easy, with the technology and medicine today, I don't think there will be a problem aborting a baby. And self abortion is showed in the show which surprised me. Harmful effects on woman's body after abortion, or other complications arise. Parents or close ones will think it is a disgrace for their children to get pregnant before marriage. Some parents are good, accept it and face it with their children. While others just send them off, leaving them alone to face it. Yesterday, watched the Perfect Cut on Channel U. A show that has full of meaning, let me reflect how I felt in the past. Everything does not matter, I love my family, bf, my things, my job, my studies, my friends. to be continue.... Monday, July 21, 2008 Banana Song Bananas in pyjamas are coming down the stairs, Bananas in pyjamas are coming down in pairs, Bananas in pyjamas are chasing teddy bears, 'Cause on Tuesdays they all try to catch them unawares! It came across my mind this CUTE song today. Let's sing together!! I love to be a kid. Sunday, July 20, 2008 Saturday, July 19, 2008 Sorry guys didn't go for the outdoor outing today. Instead, went to get belated present from ALLen my ex-bf and went out with my bf. We have been together for almost 4 months. Hahhaa~ those interested in my love life should stay tune my blog. Some of you might think why I didn't mention about my bf in my blog..guesssss...You are right, I have started another blog about us only. Last time, announcing my news to all my friends is my hobby. Now I just take it naturally ba. This is my life, no need to explain to anybody or annoucing to the world. HahaHa..!! A change in life is good and my Dear taught me a lot of things such as be more patience girl la, is fun to be with him. We often laugh at outsider until bearable stomach pain and play the finger pointing games. Hahaha, he often get trick by me. After counted the number of times he got trick by me, ahha, more than him. Nowadays, his dressing sense got better after a few times of outing to shops. The best thing is he doesn't mind my skin problem and I am an +emotional+ means most of the time +emo+. Oh ya, I am famous +Emo+ queen, little things do affect my feeling drastically changes my mood. Yah, I have move on in my life and become happier. All thanks to him. " +LUCKY+ "  Update in office ==>> Sadly, elizabeth has left our company, hope she finds a new job soon. Thanks eileen for that comment. U always so nice person to us. Friday, July 18, 2008  you who..did work just now. Now searching for games..come across this.. My name? I run.. ANGEL RUN!! Thursday, July 17, 2008  I did some work in the morning and nothing to do in the afternoon. It was a boring day so I took photo of myself in the office. Rot all the time away, time is ticking so slow each day. Treating people bad is my hobby nowadays. Why treat them so good while they treat you like shit or didn't appreciate at all. Ah boy treat me like shit when he ask me not to bother him again, hope this is the last time I see or contact him. Hope every unhappiness end at the end of the month. HoHo.. Next month is National Day and Hungry Ghost Festival!! School starts will get me busy & forget all those unhappiness. Can't wait for my new life to begin next month. It is so tired and torturous to drag on to work. So sad don't have my favourite Apple tea in Cheers, end up drinking green tea. But lucky have my ham cheese bread for breakfast. Took a taxi to SIM to hand the form payment, almost vomit. Hate to take taxi, smells make me puke. Not much time left after work so no choice for me. Damn smelly and expensive, 20 plus dollars for a stupid trip to SIM, was stuck in congestion for a few minutes as peak hour. Yesh..my skin got better this week, still have small wound like cuts around. I am a +sensitive+ girl. I chat with my Peter bro, at least he console me abit. Life sux. How to make it wonderful? I 'll treasure all my loved ones. Can't bear to leave them and the world now. Jia you Jia you Jia you!! Tuesday, July 15, 2008 When the son's father is a Graphic Designer....         Enjoy!!!!!!!! Friday, July 11, 2008 Feeling bored? Any word that come to your mind, just type in the SEARCH box and click GO!! My topic is on business review or related. The Encyclopedia of Business Cliches #1 "win-win situation" #2 "Thinking outside of the box" #3 "Low-hanging fruit" #4 "Giving 110%" #5 "Synergy" #6 "Paradigm Shift" #7 "Best Practices" #8 "Paradigm" #9 "At the end of the day,..." #10 "Maximize leverage"  Thursday, July 10, 2008 Monday, July 7, 2008 Arghh..stupid skin eruption today.. Finally have the courage to ask him to leave me alone and forget me. He called on friday night and update about our lives. Nothing much ba. Just a little sad that he truely treat me as a good friend or not. I am confuse why he contact me out of the blue. My hp didn't store his hp no. I have long forgotten him since I have my new life now. I love my new life now. Don't want to rmb what he say so I better type it out and erase all bad memories. He ask about my studies and told me he did badly for his Year 1. Now got stream into EEE, yah he skip class as he qurrel with his mum as usual. The girl pei him out one night and he also stay at his house for a week. They often rent car to roam around singapore, went to east coast to cycle. He also went to my hse area for the old store bubbletea, chocolate milk tea his fav. He also drove his gf to my hse area and told her where I live and beautiful place "little guilin" where it is also our place of memories. I bet he had told her everything that we used to do before. He is kind of weird still ask him whether I work in Giant. That was my job before poly, long time ago le. He told me some of the past that I don't really remember, just recalled when he told me. His gf close down his friendster, like don't want those pic to remind of his old frame. **BITCH** All his old email accounts are freeze or delete away. That's not my problem anymore. We are not meant to be together even though we met in previous life or now. Makes no difference, still cannot be together. Wish him all the best! I already chose to live my own new life now. He got nothing to do with me from the day he left me.  Saturday, July 5, 2008 05 July 08 Today is CH's bdae and my appointment to doc day. We went out and had great fun. Thanks for the movie and dinner. I enjoyed it guys. My trip to Orchard Clinic My doctor is an aged indian man who is caring, intelligent, serious, etc. I still remember how he taught me the different creams, and told me to take care myself. This sentence, "what if one day I not around anymore" stuck me. Just felt my heart melts and sadden that moment. My sickness makes me tired and letting go of my life thousand of times, do not have the courage to die. Letting down to many people that know me and God. He gave me life, a chance to be in this world, reborn. I appreciate those people who cares for me. This blog is for me to type out my own feelings in a way to express my thoughts and feelings. It's hard to keep in my heart, burst it out some day. Actually I don't want to extend my work in NCS, it's so tiring to work, wake up so early, facing all the work, facing all the weird people, facing the computer everyday. Argggh! Lucky my team is good, my team leader too. I will definitely miss Cristina, Kamali and Neeraja. Cristina is the unique leader I know. Both of them help me a lot, thanks to all who had taught me including all my team mates. I need money for my uni thats why I intend to stay not because of anyone. Naturally, there will be departing whenever beginning lies. I just want the best for myself now. It's hard to please everyone anyway. No doubt, they will appreciate but to take it for granted. I am a bad girl and will be a bad girl!  Thursday, July 3, 2008 Yesh!!I love Orientation where I met a lot of new friends. Taking a Day off on Tuesday to have fun in SIM. I enjoyed all the games and got to know the school compound. School I am coming to U next month. Oh gosh I look so nerd in the picture. HaHaHa.. I cut hair look like "tot tot" de. I am starting my studying or preview all the notes now if not my DEAR sister will nag me at home. Hor Ms Beauty! Haa.. Dear Sister can you buy me bubble tea? I love my bubble tea. love myself. cheers!   Wednesday, July 2, 2008  Yesh!! I won the game challenge with the computer. So happy, it was my first attempt though. =) |
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